These guidelines are written bearing in mind that
people / agencies will vary in how they have contact with women, either single
or with children, who experience domestic violence. Please use your own thinking in how you apply them and which
you think are the most important in your situation, always stressing the need to
ensure the safety of the woman concerned. Your
interventions even when brief, can make a real difference.
Women will need different responses, which are often
influenced by their culture and background.
We are referring to women as the ‘victims’ of
domestic violence in these guidelines. We
do so because this is usually the case, but want to stress that a male victim
would need to be thought about in a similar manner.
DO give priority to ensuring the immediate safety of the woman and her children if she is a parent
DO think about how you can help a mother keep her children safe
DO recognise the needs of children and young people for protection and support
DO check if it is all right to send letter or to phone her home. CONFIDENTIALITY IS CRUCIAL
DO be aware of safety issues for the woman when contacting others about her situation
DO help her explore ways of maximising her safety whether she leaves or not
DO respect her wishes if she does not want you to make contact at all
DO take her seriously, believe her
DO remember that domestic violence isn’t always physical violence. It can include emotional, sexual, psychological and financial abuse.
DO reassure her that no form of abuse is acceptable and that she deserves support to stop it
DO let her know that domestic violence is not uncommon and give her information about women in similar situations if appropriate
DO listen to women’s feelings. This can be very supportive and assist her to make decisions and build trust so that she can ask for support in the future.
DO if you are required as part of your job to get corroborating information about her situation sensitively explain why. Ensure that if you do so you do not put her or any children at risk.
DO allow her to choose what she wishes to disclose to you about the details of any incidents
Equality Issues and Issues for Black and Ethnic Minority Women
DO remember that domestic violence may be compounded by racist or stereotypical reaction
DO remember that language and cultural barriers, or other reactions to her age, sexuality, disability or class may impact on a women’s experience.
DO think carefully about the needs of black and ethnic minority women who want to leave a violent relationship: for example give them information about ‘specialist’ refuges.
DO think about the needs of children who have dual heritage.
DO think carefully about who you ask to interpret if the woman you are supporting speaks another language.
DO think carefully about women who do not have leave to stay eg Asylum seekers
Information that you can provide
DO let her know that she doesn’t have to leave home to talk with the staff at the local refuge
DO find out what other agencies have to offer and let her know
DO give her information, phone numbers, choices and options to take away with her
DO discuss the situation and any options open to her
Some ways of providing support
DO take personal responsibility for referring her elsewhere, if a referral is appropriate. Use the Westminster Domestic Violence Forum Services Directory
DO keep in contact if at all possible
DO remember that her options may be limited by lack of resources or access to resources
DO think about the support you need in providing support to women and children who are experiencing domestic violence
DO acknowledge her right to change her mind
DON'T assume that each woman has the same needs. Ask what support she needs/wants
DON’Tbe judgmental of her actions or her choices. Try and empathise with them instead – you need to be able to value and support her views and decisions whether or not you understand them or would make the same choices yourself
DON’T ignore your intuition if you suspect a woman is being abused, use the support of colleagues or appropriate agencies to think about how you might support her
DON’T insist on joint sessions with her and the man
DON’T fob of a woman if she comes to you for help
DON’T be flippant or cynical or sceptical, accept her judgement/choices
DON’T ask questions which imply that she did something to provoke the violence
DON’T make choices for her or put pressure on her to make decisions or choices
DON’T give the man (or any other unauthorised person) the address and phone number of where she is staying.
DON’T promise to vie a letter or pass on a message to her from him or to facilitate contact in any way. This may endanger you and the woman.
Westminster
Domestic Violence Forum 1998