GUIDELINE
FOR GIVING EMOTIONAL SUPPORT
to
a woman who is experiencing domestic violence
2 Acknowledgement and response
4
Anti-discriminatory practice
Agencies
Providing Counselling and / or Emotional Support
The
purpose of these guidelines is to outline and acknowledge the important roles
that many agencies play in providing emotional support to those experiencing
domestic violence. You may hot
always recognise that you provide this role. If someone comes to you and discloses
their experience of domestic violence, it may be the first time they have told
anyone of the experience. These
guidelines are an attempt to help you think about the emotional support that
you provide. You do not need to be a trained ‘counsellor’ to give good initial
emotional support to women.
When
you are supporting a woman who is experiencing domestic violence:
IT
IS EASY to panic
IT
IS EASY to feel the need to rescue someone and DO something to make
things better
IT IS MOST HELPFUL to listen and assist the woman to make decisions herself.
Think
about the setting. Is there privacy?
Can you find a private room?
Does
she want to see a woman?
Are
there children present who may be distressed, even if they know the situation?
Try
to ensure that you are not interrupted.
If
there is a limit on your time, be clear about this, but ensure she knows you
are not rushing her.
Let
her know it is OK to talk.
Be
warm and reassuring and let her know you are reared TO LISTEN.
If
you need an interpreter, be sure it is not somebody whom the woman might find
a risk to her confidentiality.
Be
clear about what confidentiality you can provide; e.g. if she discloses that
children are being abused, will you need to inform the police or social services?
You
may not be able to provide all of these conditions, but do your best to provide
a space where she can speak as freely as possible.
2
Acknowledgement and response
It
is important not to judge her feelings or actions. Do BELIEVE her.
Offer
acknowledgement of the experience and try to show that you care.
Women
may need different responses - allow for different cultures and experiences.
Let
her know that you are trying to understand her experience. If she feels alone,
tell her that domestic violence is experienced by many other women.
Listen
- show that you hear what she is saying.
You
do not usually have to take action immediately.
Do
not feel you have to resolve the problem.
Try to empower her to do so.
She
may feel she has to ask for something specific in order to get your help, or
in order not to feel she is wasting your time.
Let
her express her feelings and acknowledge this is important.
It
is for HER to decide if she wants anything else: e.g., help with an action plan.
You
may need to let her know that time with you is coming to a close.
Let
her know that you have heard or tried to hear or understand her experience.
Let
her know she can come back for more information either from you or a colleague.
Reassure
her that you have been pleased to listen to her. This may be her first experience
of being listened to about the violence / abuse.
Check
that she has information if that is what she requires.
Let
her know there are places she can go if she wants.
Give her contact names and numbers.
Check
with her about her own and her children’s safety.
4
Anti-discriminatory practice
Think
flexibly about each woman, allowing for different needs and different experiences.
Black
and racial minority women, lesbians, older or disabled women may need particular
support in order to use services easily.
Check
with her what she needs in order to use your service or other agencies (e.g.
an interpreter)
It
can be stressful and disturbing supporting women who are experiencing domestic
violence.
Do
your best to set up support for yourself so that you can think well about her.
If
a woman who is experiencing domestic violence wants counselling or emotional
support, use the attached list of organisations that can provide counselling
or emotional support to women who live in Westminster.
Akima
Mama Wa Afrika: 020 7713 5166
Free
service:
Languages:
French, Aroba, Luganda
Al-Hasaniya
Moroccan Women’s Centre:
020 8969 2292
Free
service:
Languages:
French, Arabic
Languages: Arabic, Spanish, French, Tigrinia
Broken Rainbow: 020 8558 8674
Free service: Free telephone support for gay men, lesbians, bisexual and transgender people experiencing domestic violence.
Languages: English
Chinese
Information & Advice Centre:
020 7462 1281
Free
service
Languages:
Cantonese, Mandarin
Eaves
Women’s Aid Westminster:
020 8960 4961
Free
service:
Languages: Interpreters provided
NCH
Space for Change:
020
7229 0333
Free
Service for families with children under 16 years
Languages:
interpreters provided
London
Marriage Council:
020 7580 1087
Sliding
scale: £1.50 (of every £1000 earned per year)
Languages:
French, Polish
Marlborough
Family Centre:
020 7642 8605
Free
service:
Languages:
Arabic, Bengali, Cantonese, French, German, Japanese, Hakka, Hindi, Pashtu,
Punjabi, Spanish and Urdu
Victim
Support Westminster:
020 7828 4142
Free
service:
Languages:
Arabic, Bengali, Cantonese, Creole, Czech, Farsi, French, German, Greek,
Hakka, Hindi, Iranian, Italian, Marndarin, Persian, Polish, Portugese, Punjabi,
BSL, Spanish
Free
service:
Languages: French, Greek, German, Turkish, Farsi, Iranian, Persian, Spanish, Italian, Portuguese, Swedish, Norwegian and Danish
Women & Girls Network: 020 7610 4678
Free service: Provide counselling and healing resources for women and girls recovering from experiences of violence (physical, sexual or emotional).
Languages: English
(February 1999